Hohums Bought - Team Re-organized - Coach Fired


APSPORTSWIRE/NOV151996

In another of their attempts to buy everything in sight, Megasoft purchased the BloodBowl team, The Hohums. Coach John Smith was promptly fired and the team renamed to the Blazing Fists. Coach Smith's only comment was, "Oh well".

Megasoft and team spokesman Troy McClure had this to say, "Hi! I'm Troy McClure, you may know me from such BloodBowl games as the Halflings vs. Chaos, or, 'The Night of a Thousand Screams'.

"The Megasoft purchase of the Blazing Fists has nothing to do with sports and everything to do with marketing! We'll be proudly displaying our new uniforms with the Megasoft Logo."

(Shows a uniform with picture of Megasoft CEO, Bill Doors' fist grasping the Earth.)

"You can expect new mind controlling, er, expanding software and products FREE at every game. T-shirts still cost money though." When asked about the new changes to the team, McClure replied, "Hey, don't ask me! I don't watch those stupid games."

The humans new coach, Spitinyerface Orkstomper, was recruited from the downward spiraling Humdiddly Dwarves. He has completely revamped the team and cut many of the existing players in an attempt to remain under the rules for the new tournament. Orkstomper was asked how a Dwarf would fare coaching a human team, "Yous gots to undastand. Da lads, dey do wat I tell em to, or else, see? 'sides, we gots us a seecret weapan. We's gots Mongo. Mongo's gonna creem dem all inta leetle peeces." Repeated attempts to find out more about Mongo only drew this response, "Mongo, he's strong see? He's fast see? He can throw da uder guyz all over da place see?. He can even throw our own guyz! see?" Okstomper would not confirm the rumors that he had scouts in Hobbiton conducting a frenzied recruiting search.

When asked about the Blazing Fists chances in the upcoming tournament he said, "Der's gonna be a guud game when da Blazing Fists meet da Buttboys." After being asked about his chances with the other teams his eyes glazed over, spittle foamed, while he and the attending team players began chanting, "death, death, death, death" over and over.

The room was cleared in great haste as many of the reporters deemed the interview over.

Val "Krusha" Thomas reporting